Discernment
Summary
Between the ascension of Jesus and the coming of the Holy Spirit, the early church faced its first major decision: who would take the place left empty by Judas? Pastor Dominic Jackson walks through this often-overlooked passage, noting the costly faithfulness of the first apostles and the remarkable diversity of the community Jesus gathered. He also shows how the believers met betrayal and loss honestly, in the light of Scripture. Their process of discernment offers a model for our own decisions: grounding them in Scripture, saturating them in prayer, making them in community, and trusting God enough to act. Dominic also invites us to examine our prayer lives, asking whether we come to God mainly for what he can give or out of a desire for his presence.
Questions for reflection
The first apostles were an unlikely, mismatched group, yet Jesus saw what they could become. When you look at yourself or your church, do you tend to see limitations or possibilities? What might God see that you don’t?
The early church named Judas’s betrayal honestly and processed it in light of Scripture. How do you tend to respond to failure or loss, whether your own or others’? What would it look like to face it honestly with God?
Dominic offers a model for big decisions: do your homework in Scripture, pray, don’t decide alone, and then act. Which of these steps do you tend to skip? Is there a decision in front of you right now where you could put this into practice?
Have you ever feared that one wrong choice would knock you out of God’s plan? How does the idea that God meets us where we are change the way you approach decisions?
As you read Acts, how might you discern between what is descriptive (how things happened) and what is prescriptive (what God is inviting us to do)?
If you spoke to the people closest to you the way you speak to God, would those relationships grow stronger or weaker? What would it look like to pray for more of God’s presence, not just for more of what he gives?
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Dominic Jackson:
I would love to start by showing you a painting. This is a painting by René Magritte, painted in 1936. You’re probably familiar with some of his work. This one maybe isn’t as popular, but it’s one of my favorite paintings. Here we see the artist looking at an egg, but he’s painting a bird, right? Or really, he’s painting what the egg can become. And all of a sudden, the egg has a body. It has feathers. It has wings. But most importantly, this egg, which isn’t moving an inch, can fly. Here the artist, the creator, doesn’t just see what is right in front of him. He sees what is inside what is right in front of him. René explained that the inspiration behind the painting was a reflection on the limitation of vision. But when I look at this painting, I think about Acts 1. Hear me out.See, when it comes to the early church, Jesus is commissioning his disciples to do the most important work that will ever happen after his own—work that, of course, the Holy Spirit will be leading every step of the way. But think about it. If this group screws up, the gospel isn’t shared. If this group chickens out—no pun intended, right?—the life and ministry of Jesus is not only never recorded, it dies with them, right? If this group does not fulfill their commission, you and I are not sitting here today.
Now, the fundamentalists are saying, “You’re putting a lot of pressure on mere humans.” I understand that. But more so, I’m simply acknowledging God’s perfect plan to use some pretty imperfect people as vessels for his gospel message. And I think the reason why is that, just like the artist in our painting looking at the egg sees a bird, when Jesus sees a bunch of mostly uneducated, unqualified, often screwups, he sees what’s in front of him. But more than that, he sees future church planters. He sees leaders. He sees the first church. He sees what’s possible.
Last week, we kicked off the book of Acts, and if you remember, I framed it as a “to be continued” of the Gospel accounts, specifically the Gospel according to Luke. And so where we left off, Jesus has just ascended into heaven, to be on the throne. But remember the angels saying, “Why are you guys staring up at the sky?” right? The disciples are watching, and they’re staring up, and the angels say, “Why are you staring up? He’s not there. He’ll be back, but he’s not there,” right? And then we were left with the question we all need to answer: so what are we going to do in the meantime? Right? And the disciples then stop staring up, and they get to work. And we have been invited to do the same thing while we’re on the other end, waiting for the second arrival of Christ. Today, we pick up where we left off—what the disciples did after that encounter, and what you and I are invited to join in. Before we look back at our text, let’s take a moment and pray together.
Lord Jesus, let this be more than just an interesting story, more than just an ancient text. Help us to see this as the living, breathing word for us today, so that through the Spirit of the living God, we may see how you were not only at work 2,000 years ago, but how you are still at work today—how you still want to use your church now. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
We continue this wild book, the book of Acts. And just so you know where we are going: next week we’re going to talk about Pentecost. I felt like I needed to get out in front of that a little bit. Next week we’re talking about Pentecost. We’ll talk about spiritual gifts, specifically what is typically referred to as speaking in tongues. What is that all about, right? Is that a thing? Was that only for a specific time? Is that a spiritual language? Is it, like, a rambling, or a muttering, maybe? Something else? If the early church was doing it, why aren’t we? Or are we, right? Also, why do some church traditions point to speaking in tongues as proof the Holy Spirit is inside you—and if you’re not speaking in tongues, then maybe he’s not there? Why do some theologies believe this and others don’t? And somehow this is connected to, what, a second baptism? Also, why does this seemingly ancient spiritual language now kind of sound like gibberish, right? What was happening 2,000 years ago? What’s happening today?
So that’s where we’re going next week. It’s going to be great. No one’s going to be upset. There won’t be any angry emails or comments online. In fact, your Pentecostal grandma and your Baptist father-in-law—they’re both going to love it. It’s going to be wonderful. Neither of them will call you and tell you your pastor is a heathen. It will be great. No controversy at all. So come back next week for that.
Just as a side note—this is me on a soapbox for a second—I think many pastors, many leaders, can fall into two traps when it comes to what I’ll just refer to as controversial texts. The first is to try to make a name for yourself by being as controversial as possible, right? It gets clicks. It gets attention, positive and negative. And maybe it helps you get speaking gigs, get a lot of followers on TikTok. But as soon as you stop offending half of your audience, you’re old news, and someone else is ready to fill that space. So that’s one trap.
The other trap is to just avoid difficult passages because you don’t want to cause waves. You don’t want to upset people or make anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes the Bible is confusing. Sometimes it’s offensive. Sometimes it’s bizarre, which we’ll see next week. And so every week you get, like, a “Jesus loves you” message—which is a wonderful message—over and over, but never anything challenging or convicting or even inviting.
But how you avoid these two traps is kind of by doing what we’re doing: simply working through a book, which forces us to address some of these things. In the book of Acts, we’re going to be looking at speaking in tongues and infant baptism and free will and predestination and all of those things—but trying to discern these things through the message of Jesus. And so, as always, you’re allowed to disagree with me. You might even be right. If so, let me know. I’ll buy the coffee. But we’re all trying to figure this out together as we move through this account. And as we do, we’re just going to be asking the same question: what is God trying to communicate—not just then, but to us today?
So that’s next week—Pentecost. It’ll be a lot of fun. Hope to see you there. With that said, let’s take a look at our passage for today. Acts 1, verse 12. Again, we’re picking up after Jesus’ commission. He told his disciples to stay in Jerusalem. Jesus ascends. They’re standing there trying to figure out, okay, now what? Jesus is gone, right? Now what do we do? At least he’s gone for a while. He promises the Holy Spirit, and yet they’re somewhere in between these two moments.
Verse 12: “Then the apostles returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day’s walk from the city. When they arrived, they went upstairs to the room where they were staying. Those present were Peter, John, James and Andrew; Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew; James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James.”
So here Luke—Dr. Luke—is giving us some grounding details. And he does this a lot. You will notice this. He really, really wants to set the scene, because remember, he is an investigator. He’s a Gentile investigator who has been hired to investigate what is going on with this whole Jesus movement that people are talking about.
So first, notice in our text: it was a day’s walk, right? Not exactly. Because whenever I read this, I was like, okay, I think I could walk, like, 10, 15, maybe 20 miles in a day, depending on the shoes I’m wearing, right? Depending on how flat it is. So they must have traveled a similar amount. Not exactly. No, it wasn’t a day’s walk. It was a Sabbath day’s walk, which is 2,000 cubits. Now, I don’t know what the heck a cubit is, so I had to look this up. It is five-eighths of a mile.
Remember, there were very, very strict rules for Jewish believers about what you could and could not do on the Sabbath, right? You could not, for example, use two hands to tie a knot. This was considered work in the Jewish tradition. Now, personally, I think it would be more work to try to tie a knot with one hand, but that’s just me, right? Also, you could not carry more milk in a cup than one swallow. I don’t know how they gauged this, but you could not do this. It was considered a burden, and you were working on the Sabbath, right? There were plenty of ways a faithful Jewish person was supposed to Sabbath, including how far they were allowed to travel. So Luke is writing as a Gentile, as an outsider, while also acknowledging Jewish culture, right? It’s his way of saying the disciples did not abandon their Torah observance when Jesus arrived on the scene.
So Luke is setting the scene, and we are going to get a lot of these details in this story—details that are really easy to miss for non-Jewish folks like myself. Also, Luke is giving us a timeline here. He’s telling us the day. He’s telling us how far they traveled, which is helpful. He’s giving us the where and the how. We also get a who, because Luke is taking roll. Notice, right? We get the names of who is in attendance: Peter, John, James, Andrew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, Matthew, James, Simon, Judas, right?
Now, two things are worth mentioning here. This is important, and there’s a reason we’re going to pause here for a second. There are two things that I think could honestly be sermons in themselves, but it’s so easy to just gloss over them—like, “Okay, yeah, the disciples are there. Now what are they going to do?”
The first is that almost every single one of these men in attendance suffered a terrible death. Almost every single one of these people were martyrs. I think we have a slide here, right? Peter, crucified. Andrew, crucified. James, crucified. Philip, crucified. Bartholomew, or Nathanael—he was skinned alive, then beheaded. Not a good way to go out. Thomas, killed with a spear. Matthew, stabbed with a double-edged sword. The other James—he was thrown from the temple, and then, after he survived this, he was stoned to death. Thaddeus, or the other Judas, shot with arrows. Simon the Zealot, sawed in half. Matthew was beheaded. And then there was John—who maybe you might think was the lucky one—but he was tortured, right? If you remember when we were looking at 1 John, he was tortured. And though he did survive, he ended up on an island and died of natural causes. One out of 12, right?
The early church was led by the Spirit. It was commissioned by Jesus. But in many ways, it was established with blood. Those disciples gave everything. And it’s important to acknowledge this, not just because of their sacrifice, but because they did so willingly. They had seen too much. If this was all a lie, if this was a myth, they would have surely called it quits at this point, right? But when they saw Jesus resurrected, nothing could stop them. Some of them are even recorded as going to their deaths singing, worshiping God, right? Terrible deaths. For many of them, all they had to do was deny Jesus and they would get to live a long life. But they just couldn’t do it. They had seen and experienced too much in the risen Christ.
Additionally, worth noting: the early church was planted with the most eclectic, random, ragtag group you could imagine. And again, this is so easy to miss as we’re reading through these names. But politically, socially, economically, theologically, these guys would have hated each other before Jesus. You had a Zealot—basically an anarchist assassin. You had a tax collector, who was partnering with the government to abuse and oppress his own people. He probably wasn’t very popular in the group. You had these blue-collar fishermen, right? You had a wealthy Judean insider. You had different locations, different accents, different cultures, different beliefs—all coming together and putting those things to the side to serve a greater purpose.
And that’s my prayer for the Gateway Church in many ways as we grow: to grow in perspective and background. Absolutely—to continue to see people with different backgrounds, different socioeconomic backgrounds, perspectives, nationalities, theological stances. And this might lead you to look around the room at some point and just think, “There are people here who, outside of this, I probably would never hang out with. We have almost nothing in common here,” right? Except one thing—the most important thing: that we worship the same God. And my prayer is that we continue to grow and experience different perspectives, backgrounds, stages of life, political ideologies—not to check boxes, but to show that Jesus is King, not the things that we have been told should be the most important thing about us. And we see this carried out in those first disciples and the early church.
Also worth noting, it’s not just the 11 of them hanging out in a room. There are other people there as well. Let’s keep going. Verse 14: “They all joined together”—God bless you—“They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers,” right? Remember, if you know the Gospel accounts, the brothers were not followers of Jesus initially, right? I mean, just imagine how hard—how annoying—it would be if your older brother was the divine one, right? They did not follow Jesus. In fact, at one point, they try to throw him off a cliff because they think he’s bringing shame on their family. And yet, fast-forward: Jesus comes back from the dead, and now his family is following him, and we see them present here.
But here comes the problem. Back to those first apostles: now there is a seat open. Verse 15: “In those days Peter stood up among the believers (a group numbering about a hundred and twenty) and said, ‘Brothers and sisters, the Scripture had to be fulfilled in which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus. He was one of our number and shared in our ministry.’”
Verse 18: “With the payment he received for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. Everyone in Jerusalem heard about this, so they called that field in their language Akeldama, that is, Field of Blood.” There’s a picture for you.
Okay, so this is gross. This is detailed, right? It’s in the Bible. Don’t get mad at me, okay? Don’t ever say the Bible’s not interesting. But here we get this pretty brutal death scene, right? This is what happens to Judas. Judas takes his own life after betraying Jesus. He hangs himself, and then, after some time passes—we don’t know the details—his dead body does what dead bodies do. And then at some point, either a branch snaps or someone cuts him down or whatever, he falls headlong, and more gross stuff. Okay. So this is what happened to Judas. We get to fill in the blank on the rest of that Gospel account, that story.
But let’s keep going. Moving on, verse 20. Peter says, “‘For,’ it is written in the Book of Psalms: ‘May his place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in it,’ and, ‘May another take his place of leadership.’” Talking about Judas here. So Peter is quoting the Scriptures as he speaks to these believers about what just happened with Judas. And notice—this is important—the betrayal is not minimized. It is not hidden. It’s named. And Scripture is used—specifically Psalms 69 and 109. They turn back to the Bible to try to make sense of this. And that’s important. Healthy communities do not gloss over failure and loss. They process it honestly in light of God’s Word.
Additionally, notice that instead of just fixating on the betrayal, Peter, following the Scriptures, also examines why they need another apostle. He’s looking back, because he’s so familiar with Scripture. He’s like, “Oh yeah—Psalm 69, Psalm 109. We need somebody to take this space.”
Verse 21: “Therefore it is necessary to choose one of the men who have been with us the whole time the Lord Jesus was living among us, beginning from John’s baptism to the time when Jesus was taken up from us”—which was, like, five minutes ago in the story. “For one of these must become a witness with us of his resurrection.”
Okay, so it’s time for a 12th disciple. There is a seat open. And they say, okay, it’s got to be someone who can testify to the life, the ministry, the arrest, the death, the resurrection of Jesus. This is very important. It’s not just someone who heard a story about a guy who heard a story. It is someone who was actually walking with them the whole time. Makes sense.
And we know that there are about 120 people here. So I don’t know how they whittled this down. Was there an application process? Were there interviews? I don’t know. But either way, they have 120-ish, they need one other person, and so they’re left with a pair—two people.
Verse 23: “So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias.” Now, I just have to say—maybe this is just me, maybe it’s just my family—but when a dude has, like, three different aliases, three different names, I don’t trust that guy. Just saying. But still. So we’ve got that guy—Justus, a.k.a. Barsabbas, a.k.a. Joseph, a.k.a. JoJo, whoever he is. And then we’ve got Matthias, right? These are their two options here. What do they do?
Verse 24: “Then they prayed, ‘Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.’” Now, I so badly want to explore that. We’re going to come back to that—the question that maybe a lot of us are wondering: did Judas even have a choice in this? And there are these prophecies. We’ll come back to that in a couple weeks. But for now, let’s keep going. Judas goes back to where he belongs. “Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.”
Now let’s, again, pause here for a moment. Imagine that I came here this morning and said, “Hey, we’ve got an announcement, an update for you guys. The elders recently met, and we decided it’s time—we’re going to add another elder to the group. We felt like this is what God is inviting us into. And so, after a lot of prayer—I know in the past it’s been a really lengthy process, like a year-long process, with interviews and theological conversations—we decided we’re going to take a different route. Under one of your chairs is a golden ticket. And you’re our new elder. So congratulations.” Or, “I’m sorry.” I’m not sure which one, right?
Imagine that we did that. And if you’re confused, or even disapproving of this process—that’s on you. It’s in the Bible, right? Take it up with God. It worked for the early church. Why wouldn’t it work for us? Who are we to do any differently, right? There is no golden ticket under—I’m sorry. There’s no golden ticket underneath your seat. And we wouldn’t be giving that away. That wouldn’t be fun. But still, imagine that this is what we decided to do. It brings up the question: isn’t this basically what the early church did, right? They cast lots to make this huge decision. Does that seem wise? Responsible, even? Faithful?
A few things. First, notice they actually did have qualifications, right? They had a large group of people, and they had some qualifications. One of those is: we need to have known this person all the way back, walking with Jesus all the way through the resurrection. Which means this guy didn’t jump ship or leave once things got difficult. We’ve walked with this person. In fact, we’ve walked with two of these people, right? And so they were both qualified, and it’s a win-win between them, apparently.
But you might wonder, why not just make them both apostles? What’s the issue? If they’re both qualified, why not just nominate both of them? And we could talk about the number 12 and its significance—the 12 gates and the 12 tribes of Israel—and there’s a whole lot going on here. But ultimately, what they are doing is continuing the model that Jesus chose for them, which is why there aren’t 13.
Also worth mentioning: notice they have prayed. They have discerned. They have a process and expectations, right? But Jesus is gone, at least for now. So they’re kind of on their own. They’ve kind of reached their limits here. Because this is before the Holy Spirit—Pentecost is next week. This is before the Holy Spirit is dwelling within them. He’s around. He’s at work. But Pentecost, again, has not happened. So they pray. They trust. They essentially flip a coin. They cast lots, which is how people did it in the Old Testament.
Additionally, worth mentioning: throughout this book—and really every book of the Bible—we are going to constantly be asking this, pretty much every week as we move through the book of Acts. We’re going to be asking: is what we’re reading descriptive or prescriptive, right? Does God want us, as a church, to also do what we’re reading? Or is it simply for that time, and they’re just jotting down what was happening? And this is where we get into some theological murky waters, because it kind of depends on who you ask, right?
In the book of Acts, we see over and over that all of them are worshiping God, right? That one sounds pretty descriptive to me. They didn’t wear deodorant, right? I’m sorry—yeah, the worship one sounds like what we are being prescribed to do. They don’t wear deodorant—that one, I think, is more descriptive, right? They all lived together. They sold their belongings. Is that what the church is being called to do? They cast out demons. They preached the gospel boldly. Many of them went to prison, right? And so, as we’re reading through this text, we’re going to have to be asking: is God inviting us to do the same, or is he simply telling the story of how we got here? You can see where discernment is necessary—discernment through the Holy Spirit. Which is why we won’t be casting lots next time we’re looking for another pastor. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s good. But it also makes sense why they did.
Okay, so I do, however, think there is an invitation for us in this text—no casting of lots necessary—to consider: what do we do when we have a big decision to make? I mean, this was huge—choosing the next disciple, the next apostle. They had a moment where they had to really think about how they were going to make this decision. So what do you and I do when we have a big decision to make? I think we actually see a great model here.
First, I think the invitation is to do your homework. You’ll notice how often the leaders are constantly turning back to Scripture, right? In fact, this is why Peter knew they needed a 12th disciple, right? Because he was so familiar with what the Psalms were instructing—the prophecy for them. They’re constantly searching the Scriptures to best understand God’s will for their lives.
Second—this one might seem obvious, maybe, maybe not—pray. We see them praying over and over. You’ll read that these early Christians were devoted to prayer, right? So pray about it. Pray all through the process.
Next, don’t make your decision alone, right? Notice there was a council. There were leaders. There were group discussions. This was not just one guy’s decision about which of his friends he wanted to have a seat, right? So there were lots of people in this. So bring other people you know, who you trust, in to help you discern.
And then lastly, finally, they act, right? Does anyone else struggle with, like, decision fatigue? Maybe it’s just me. I used to think that God had a plan for me, right? I still think that—but I used to think God had a plan for me, and if I did anything wrong, if I made one wrong turn, then I was knocked off God’s plan. And now, all of a sudden, he’s essentially just going to throw his hands up and say, “Sorry. You should have gone right instead of left, and now you’re on your own.”
Do you remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books, when you were a kid, right? And it’s like, okay, do you want to turn to page 35 or 47? And if you turn to page 35, it says, “You made a wrong turn. You are dead,” or whatever, right? And the story’s over. But this isn’t biblical. This isn’t how God works. God meets us where we are. And eventually you have to pray, prepare, and hope for the best—knowing that if you made the wrong decision, it’s not, again, like God is just going to say, “Now you’re on your own. You should have chosen better.” He will meet us there.
Of course, if you’re at a fork in the road, and one choice faithfully honors God—other people are discerning with you and speaking into your life, it aligns with your faith and Scripture, you’re pursuing discipleship—and then you have the opposite of this, right? One that is not faithful. Maybe it’s easier. Maybe it’s selfish. Maybe it’s sinful. Whatever it is. If that’s the decision, and you’re like, “I don’t know what I should do,” right? I would say go with God on that one, okay?
But if that’s not the situation—if you have a decision and both seem like great options, and neither of them is in conflict with your faith, right? Maybe you’re a high school senior and you get accepted to two colleges, and they both seem like great colleges. Awesome. That’s great. Or maybe you’re offered a promotion at work at the same time that a friend of yours with a startup reaches out and wants you to join it, right? And you’re trying to figure it out—both of these seem like great options. What do I do? I would suggest doing what the disciples do. Pray. Seek the Scriptures. Seek the counsel of men and women who are closely walking with Jesus. Ask the Spirit to guide you. Ask for a clear sign. And then, whether it comes or not, ask Jesus to lead you wherever it is, right? At some point, you have to make a decision.
One other thing I think we see is not what is in this passage, but what is left out. We see the disciples’ process of discerning God’s will. We don’t see Judas’s. Notice that, right? But based on what we know about him, I think it’s easy to make some assumptions. I believe the other disciples loved Jesus. I think Judas loved what Jesus could do for him. And the disciples had their issues. They were flawed. They struggled. But underneath their devotion was a love for Jesus.
I believe that for many of us, the reason we might feel like our prayer life is sometimes stagnant—I have felt that many times in my own prayer life—is because we do not have that intimacy with God. We have a relationship, but we don’t have that closeness. And though we would not admit this—at least I wouldn’t—God is either the one you’re trying to convince to be on your side by doing all the right things, checking all the right boxes, so maybe he’ll make your life as easy as possible. Or he’s simply a genie, or a cosmic vending machine, right?
But what does it look like to sit in silence, with no agenda outside of just being with God? What does that look like? What does it look like to communicate a desperation to God other than a wish list? What does it look like to search the Scriptures—not just for more knowledge, not to fulfill your religious duty for that day, or to try to impress the Creator of the universe—but because you are actively and excitedly wanting to join in the story of the gospel? What does it look like to pray not to receive more things from God, but simply to receive more of his presence—with him being the treasure?
This isn’t to say that we don’t bring our requests or our needs to God. Please don’t hear that. But it is to say that this is not where our prayer life should start and stop. Think about the person you are closest to. Maybe it’s a spouse, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend, a parent, a child. If you spoke to them the same way—and I’m preaching to myself here—if you spoke to them the same way you speak to God, if you spent your time with them the same way you spend your time with God, would that relationship be better or worse?
I believe discipleship is not a one-stop journey. It is a lifelong relationship, lifelong growth. And so if you are not there, please don’t hear this as a guilt trip or shaming anyone. Again, I’ve been there myself. This is an invitation to grow in our relationship.
When I first came to faith, I was basically at, like, the toddler stage in my faith. And I don’t mean that negatively. It’s just where I was. My prayers looked, in many ways, like I was two years old—because I had been walking with Jesus for two years, even though I was almost an adult. In the same way, the vast majority of how my two toddlers communicate with me—basically all they communicate to me is all the things that they want, right?
I will look my son in the eye, I’ll pull him in for a hug, and I’ll say, “Daddy loves you so much. I am so, so happy that I get to be your dad.” Do you know how he responds? He doesn’t say, “Father, I too am thankful that the Lord has brought us together in this way as father and son.” No—I literally had this conversation with Judah the other day. I looked at him. I poured my heart out to him. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I want chicken nuggets.” That was it. That was his response. Didn’t even acknowledge what I just said. Didn’t even care about it.
And for so long, my faith looked like this. That’s how I communicated with God. I would read a Bible verse—which has been waiting for me for thousands of years—about God declaring his love for me, his purpose for me, his pursuit of me. I would read where he says that he has adopted me into his family—I wasn’t born into it; he chose me. I would read that, and I would close the Bible and fold my hands and say, basically, “I want chicken nuggets,” right? Or, “I want a promotion at work.” “I want an easier life”—I pray that one a lot. “I want a girlfriend”—I prayed that one for a long time before I met Megan, right?
And again, invite God into your requests. I’m not saying that’s wrong. It’s an opportunity for you to search your own heart and ask, “Why am I asking this? And is this God’s will for me?” And sometimes it is. Sometimes he says yes. Sometimes he says no. And sometimes—my least favorite—he says wait. But in between the answers is also the one holding them, whom we are invited to sit with every day. And so I would gently ask you to reflect on your prayer life. Does it look more like a conversation with a loved one, or like one of your three wishes offered up to some invisible genie? Again, that’s not a guilt trip. That’s an invitation we’re all given.
In closing, back to the painting we started with. This is a painting of a painting, right? We are a church reading about a church. And in the same way the artist is looking at an egg but sees what is in that egg—sees what is possible, what can be—I look at the church today, and I see a group of people. A group of people who are devoted to Jesus, devoted to justice, devoted to doing life together. I see a group of people in many different places on our faith journeys, and this happens to be the place where all of those intersect. I see a group of people who have talents and passions and gifts, but we also have struggles and frustrations and weaknesses.
Simply put, this is a very human church, right? And it would be easy to look out and see our limitations because of that humanity. It would be so easy to see this. Your pastor is probably the weirdest one in the bunch, right? But it would be easy to look around and see what is directly in front of us—essentially an egg. What hasn’t happened yet? What is taking a long time to happen? What is unlikely, or sometimes even feels impossible here? Or we can do as the artist did, and see what is possible—what the church has been called to do. How the global church has, in some ways, kind of lost its focus. But also the amazing and mighty things that God desperately wants to use us for—what he’s longing to see here.
And so a theme we will return to often is looking at the egg in front of us while also examining the picture we have in the book of Acts, and simply asking: is God done here yet? Or is there something else underneath what we see—something waiting to be born? Would you guys pray with me?
God, help us to grow in our faithfulness—all of us, starting with me. Especially me. Help us to see the example and invitation in the account of the early church here. But also, hallelujah, that we have been filled with the Spirit—that we no longer need to cast lots, or rely on our own understanding, or simply hope for the best. Instead, we are invited to faithfully and fervently seek to live out the calling and commission you spoke to us 2,000 years ago. So help us to do just that—to desperately recognize our need for you, today and every day.
And help us as we move through this book of Acts. Help us to ask the question, “Is this what we are being invited into?” Sometimes the answer is yes. Other times, we are reading an account of how we got here. Sometimes it’s prescriptive, sometimes descriptive. And so, Holy Spirit, we need your help in that. Help us to see you clearly. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.